Great is his faithfulness, his mercies begin afresh each morning.
Hang in there dear heart, you are beating so fast you might burst out of my chest. Its been a long morning and its only 9:30, husband off to work and a quite moment for me and God. Then waking kids and finding clothing, organizing gear for the trip to town, its swimming lessons today. Breakfast of yogurt and granola and milk in sippy cups. I of course just chug back a shake and think about coffee, but I have been drinking too much coffee lately, it keeps me awake at night.
Coffee and all of the things moms worry about, keep me awake in the darkest hours, right before the world tips over to the other side of another day. January in the Fort St. John, dark hours pile up till you fear you might never see the sun again. But it breaks through every day, cutting the fog of early mornings, and late nights. The mist lifts off the fields or sometimes it just hangs frozen mid air and glows with an invisible warmth that we wont feel for a few more months.
And I shake off the fog one more time cause that what questioning mothers do…
1 Corinthians 13:12
We don’t yet see things clearly. We are squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it wont be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We will see it all then, see it all as God sees us, knowing Him directly just as He knows us!
Questioning my ability to raise these tiny people. Questioning if they are retaining anything I say to them. Questioning if they are getting enough nutrition or enough snuggles. Questioning if the delay to achieve bench-marks are behavioural or development or just imagined. Questioning my sanity, my organizational ability, and my schedule.
I shake off the fog of all the questions and self doubt and I move forward. Cause that’s what questioning mothers do…
All these questions are my fears not letting me rest…
Fears that I might fail my children and they will suffer for my lack of wisdom in raising them. Or anxiety that they might not continue on to post secondary education, or stress that they wont be potty trained in time for kindergarten.
And what is fear… What is anxiety… What is stress….
These are all an overwhelmed display, of a lack of faith.
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
A lack of seeing the unseen victory that is all around us. Victory over sin and death and yes even fear. Fear is the absence of worship and gratefulness. Fear leads you down a path that will never fulfilling the destiny God has set before you, You can not live a life of obedience, chained to the shackles of fear. When you dwell in anxiety and worry you will miss your calling, a calling that is written in the scriptures and whispered in your heart.
A calling to rest…
To rest in the midst of the storm.
Mark 6: 36-40
Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, Teacher, don’t you care if we drown He got up and rebuked the wind and said to the waves, Quiet! Be still! Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. He said to his disciples Why are you afraid Do you still have no faith…
There will still be storms but with Jesus in the boat you can rest. Rest assured that he know what is keeping you up at night. Rest assured that he fearfully and wonderfully made your Children and he longs for them to live a life best used for his glory. Rest assured that you are the chosen mother for theses tender years, for the teen years, for the turmoil and the tantrums. Rest assured that you are not to walk alone as mother or as a father, but you are to walk with God and to rely on his strength when ours is limited and lacking. But mostly you are to rest in the storm as Jesus rested in the storm… Because Jesus knew His Father He knew He was secure…
Jesus has power over the storm, he can have power over the storms in your life. This a power we have access too. Because it doesn’t matter what the pediatrician says or what the teachers say or what the little league coach thinks. It doesn’t matter what the specialist say and what the books tell you. It only matters what God says. It only matters that God has Power over the storm.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Dear heart the day has come to an end and the darkness has settled around us but the moon still casts shadows over the yard. Shadows of hope stretching out in the dark, behind each tree a valley is formed. A little well is formed from the strength of the tree protecting that which stand close behind it.
It is like that standing close to the living shelter of our Christ we will find a resting place for all the things keeping us awake at night and all the things keeping us from from peace and contentment. So lay your burden in the shadow of the cross, drop them in the well created with the unmoving stance of a gracious God who will stand in the storm with you, and shelter you from the wind. Take comfort dear heart, do not beat so fast but carry the peace that comes with the knowledge of a good shelter in a dark storm.
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.