Book Review & Recommendation, When Parenting isn’t Perfect

When Parenting isn’t Perfect

By Jim Daly

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Well if your a Focus on the Family listener then you know anything by Jim Daly is a sure win!  His encouraging spirit come out once again in this great book about God filling the gap.

We are not going to be perfect 100% of the time and Jim gives us permission to let that worry go.  To shake off the pride and allow our feet to touch the ground.  He says its going to be ok, just keep loving your kids and working as a team with your spouse and pray.

I was encouraged to let go of the illusion that you an control your kids and instead focus on guiding them and teaching them to understand responsibility.  They have minds and a will of their own and your needs for control over who your kids will become or how they behave can’t get in the way of Grace.  Keep building a foundation of acceptance and love and lots of grace and do overs.  For both parents and kids.

I will read it again once my kids are per-teens.  It was bit other ahead of where I am right now but gave me lots of good things to chew on as I lay the foundation for years to come.

Completely recommend this book!  Especially for those of you with teens and tweens!  Its a great call to let go of your worries as far as the statue quo is concerned.  That just because conditions might not be perfect in your life you can still be a great parent.  Wether you feel your limitations, to fully bless your child is because of a lack of funds, time, energy, wholeness in your marriage, what ever your sad story might be…  God is still working out His good will for your children through you, or despite of you.

Super Book, Read it!!

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One Body, Forged by the Faithful, Fuelled with Youth

As a body of believers we are like a rolling ocean.

Some are in the adolescence of faith, frothing and breaking at the peak of the swell with passion and energy.  Riled by injustice and quick to spring to action.  Sometimes causing a splash and a crash, or creating a crest of rolling beauty.

Others are in the quiet of resting in Life with Christ.  Settled into the harbour of God Grace.  They have seen and discussed all theses things bombarding the church now and have seen it all before.  By faith and experience they know the Lord has provided and His Word had stood true this long.  They need not make much of a ripple now.

Also there are those in the deep dark places, reaching for the light and hope.  Those that are dwelling underneath the surface.  Christians get sad and get low and it is up to the rest of us to look beneath the surface and send undercurrents to prayer and love to move and stir those disconnected from the Joy of life with Christ and his children.

And then there are those far away lost at sea, searching for the secrets of this great and mysterious body that moves as one and as many at the same time.

Romans 12:5      So it is with one body. We are many parts of a body, and we will belong to one another. 

Young don’t look at the old as complacent or disinterested.  They have patience and wisdom on their side.

Proverbs 19:20      Listen to advice and accept discipline, and in the end you will be counted among the wise.

Like wise, you older, don’t disregard the passion and conviction you see in the young at faith, as folly.

I Timothy 4:12     Don’t let anyone look down upon you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity.

Rather look to each other to glean wisdom and to gather excitement.

Look into the water that rolls and shimmers with the spirit and soul of a great nation and dive deep.  Baptizing your whole being in the living water that is to flow into the bare and desert land.

Only when we accept the church, graciously, as flawed and sinful, as a band of brothers and sisters, can we work as one.

If the family of God is a ocean, then the filling of the body comes from many different sources.  Rivers, streams, lakes, and ponds.  We are all running clear to the same destination, splashing and overflowing many banks on the way.

Look upon your brothers and sisters and realize they are not just like you….  Yet we are drawn to the same destiny of life reconciled to Christ.  Though we all have different struggles and interests and stories and ambitions.  All streams lead to the sea but every kind of water fills the basin of Gods great grace.  If we are to be a body, that is pleasing to God, we are to endure patiently, regard respectfully, listen more then we talk and give more then we receive.  Its the Golden rule and it is true for the flourishing of our Christian family.

Luke 6:31   Do onto others what you would have them do to you.

A loving display of acceptance of every person, in the sea of faces that ebb and flow through channels of faith, on our way to the sea. Each is a important key to bringing water to a desert place and quenching the thirst.  Flow with the grace given us with Christ and filter His love to a parched land.

Book Review & Recommendation: the Unhurried Homeschooler

The Unhurried Homeschooler                                                                                                             By. Durenda Wilson

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I will admit the first couple of pages didn’t impress me.  I kinda thought this woman must ware a head covering and not have much value in her children pursuing post-secondary education…

But then as I continued I realized that her philosophy was really everything I have been holding onto as my mantra.  Just what we all cling to when our baby docent crawl or talk right when their tiny peers start to.  We tell ourselves that every baby develops at its own rate and thats just fine.

So Durenda remains us, that just because its time to start school the standard dose not suddenly change.  Your kids have their own unique learning trajectory.  As moms and home educators we can’t lose sight of that.  So don’t get in a hurry to race through to the end.  It will come in due time.

She shared how her family starts those early elementary years focusing on the basics and focusing on the responsibilities of life as a contributing member of the family.  So that her kids can grow to be contributing members of society weather they pursue higher education or not. (FYI, her grown kids are in collage now so I totally read her all wrong)

I loved this book in the end and have been added her suggestion to my families schedule and sequence already. I see my kids embracing their new structure and responsibilities in our home as students of home life and home school as well!

Its a super short and easy read and one I will re-read to be reminded of why I wanted to homeschool in the first place.  To avoid the pressure to press through the little years before they are ready to really glean what they need for the years to come.

Book Review & Recommendation: The Life Giving Home By Sally & Sarah Clarkson

The Life Giving Home                                                                                                                       By. Sally & Sarah Clarkson

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Written by 2 woman, deeply committed to the home!  I love the input by both mother and daughter and also that they broke the chapters into months.  That totally made sense to me.  It just felt like a woman’s brain, figuring out how to break down, into manageable chunks, all the things we long to create and celebrate in our homes throughout the year.

Lots of creative ideas of celebration of home and the importance of family.  The reminder that you can’t just expect your family to bond as a loving committed unit.  You need to put your heart and hands into breathing life into our home to weave the love and traditions and intention into you long to see in your family.

Super inspiring with out making me feel like I’m out of my depth.  Nothing seemed too hard or elaborate to me.  Just little nudges towards inspiration and intention with my hubby and children.

A great read for the mom who is looking for ideas to bring life into her home!

I listend to a audio version wile I did house work and cooked.  But also purchased a hard copy so I can go through and hi-light the specific traditions and ideas that stood out to me.  That way I can find them with the flip of a page when Im ready to implement a little magic into each season of the year, and each celebration of our family life!

James & the Path to all Joy and Flourishing when we share the Love

James 5:19-20

19 My brethren, if anyone among you strays from the truth and one turns him back,20 let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.

I love that James says anyone,  that stood out to me!  We are all candidates to join in the redeeming process.  We are all invited into the rescue mission of His children.  We are all to be wooing the lost into the love of Christ!
“will cover a multitude of sins.”
Not a hook or a trick to “save us” not a “get out jail free card”  But a reflection of our hearts and the hearts we are leaning into.  When we are drawn to, or drawing others into the fold of Christ, we walk straighter, we think clearer, we act kinder.
So to recap James:  
First he told them of their importance in Gods family and James has urged them to stand strong.
Then he encourages the church to make their faith their own and be doers of the word and to bite their tongues.
And explains that this is important because the tongue has great potential, and to not simply to use that power for our gain, but for Christ because He is the point.  
That our only hope is to seek wisdom from above and to die to self.
That we must be humble and surrender our plans and agendas and that we must not be deceived by our own prideful hearts, we are all sinners in need of saving.
He encourages, just examine your priorities and the things you cling to for security, and if you love money and put your hope in it, watch out!
He has empathy and says, I know its not going to be easy, in fact, it might be kinda hard but I promise it will be worth it, so pray and stay in the fight for delight in the Lord.
Then finally he says, Love Gods children and share the Love of Christ with them.  
Because all Joy and Flourishing is on the line.
This is the message of James…

James & the Path to all joy and Flourishing when we stay in the fight

James 5:13-18

13 Is anyone among you suffering? Then he must pray. Is anyone cheerful? He is to sing praises. 14 Is anyone among you sick? Then he must call for the elders of the church and they are to pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord; 15 and the prayer offered in faith will restore the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up, and if he has committed sins, they will be forgiven him.16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. 17 Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the earth for three years and six months.18 Then he prayed again, and the sky poured rain and the earth produced its fruit.

“Is anyone suffering? Then he must pray.”

How often have I looked questionably upon “that church Lady” who always has “some little” or “trivial” or “seemly silly” prayer request.  But we are called to pray and we are basically told to get out of the way of the mourning and the sad and the depressed and just PRAY!  Let us all, require the comfort of prayer.

This makes me think of a dear friend sharing with me her burden to morn the loss of her first little baby.  She felt judged and as if she needed to keep her agony to herself, “because of a lack of tolerance from her peers”  Who thought she should “be past her mourning”.  What a lost chance to grow deeper in friendship, when we refuse to allow others to morn and weep and be welcome in our presence as they are sad.

But rather encourage the mourning and the suffering to pray.  To name their needs and anxiously and hopefully await the Lord and His comfort.  Pray and seek the Lord.  Allow those going through the suffer to marinate in prayer and not put expectations on them, or ourselves to “Get over it”.

This is different then pouting.  It is praying.  The same is true for Joys and Celebration.  Let the Happy be Happy.  They aren’t bothering you, and its not about you.  Other emotions won’t diminish your own, they only bring fullness to life together.

and the prayer offered in faith will restore the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up, and if he has committed sins, they will be forgiven him. Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed.

I don’t think this has anything to do with the link sometimes put between sin and suffering.

ie. you have cancer, you must have unconfessed sin in your life….

I think it is for those on the side lines who can be proud and judging.  Cause it is easy to see suffering, and those giving compassion to the suffer and feel left out.  Life, “Hey I’m suffering too, give me love and compassion…”  With self-centredness that can turn into “Well it serves them right, don’t you see the sawdust in their eye?  No wonder their are suffer…”

Yet this is following up on “Its not about you”  Its about Love, Humility, and living Christ out into our community.

We must offer hope and love and encouragement to our brothers and sisters.  So we can be perfected in our faith and find all Joy and Flourishing.

Prayer brings humility and healing.  Its hard to have conflict with a person you are praying for.  Wether it is for the suffering or the cheerful, everyone needs tolerance as they journey through their process.

I see a call for tolerance for those who are continually expressing their struggle or sadness.  Also for the “obnoxious bliss ” of the new bride the new mom or the new truck owner.

Share the Prayer of the Suffering and the Joyful.

We can fulfill this when, we understand others journeys to joy have nothing to do with our own path of, mountain top and valley walking.  Because some one is happy, dose not mean my life is sad.  Because someone is suffering, dose not demising my struggle.

Its about us all coming together and praying alongside each other and holding one another up to the light of love.  Learning to name our experiences good and bad and laying both at the foot of the cross with either thankfulness or petition.  Always staying faithful to see Gods love in all circumstances.  That is the Peace that grows from Love Tolerance and Prayer.  That is the journey that brings us to faithfulness and Contented knowledge that God is good all the time.

That is the message of James.

 

James and the Path to all Joy and Flourishing, wile we wait.

James 5:7-12

Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near. Don’t grumble against one another, brothers and sisters, or you will be judged. The Judge is standing at the door!

10 Brothers and sisters, as an example of patience in the face of suffering, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. 11 As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.

12 Above all, my brothers and sisters, do not swear—not by heaven or by earth or by anything else. All you need to say is a simple “Yes” or “No.” Otherwise you will be condemned.

What a reminder to be anxiously kingdom minding.  Patience not for our own gain and relief but for the Glory of the coming of Christ.  James was written to the suffering and persecuted, Jewish Christians, living in the shadow of Jesus Death.  We are reminded of the suffering of the profits and the virtue of a steadfast faith.  Remember these were baby Christians and they were under great pressure. This letter was to be an encouragement, a reminder, a battle cry, to Keep the Faith.

Am I much different.  I do not worry for my spiritual freedom from powers or violence.  But the power and violence of media invading my very home leaves me isolated and out of step with the world I liven.  It is the silent, gentle persecution of the complacent, non-offending, Canadian culture that is killing the family and the faithful and the Church.

This is my battle to fight.  This is my challenge, I must to quicken with the hope of eternity.  I must see it in the eyes of every child.  If I do not put my heart and hands to the task of the Gospel and the infusing of virtues, that point to the cross,  I am but a wasted pawn in the war with life and death.  Just standing in the way not contributing to the promise of hope and everlasting Joy.

My complacency condemns the lost Children, I see them as just fine, and a hope for this worlds future.  When I fail to see the gruesome fate of those lost from the truth. I fail to see the potential suffering an eternal damnation I am inactivity a part of.

I must keep the faith and stay in the fight for spreading the Gospel.  I am to be counter cultural.  That is as simple as committing to modesty and as challenging to accept my husband as the Head of our Home.  It is to die to self and to see it as gain.  It is to stand for truth even when it offends, thought I must be committed to impartiality, as I pour out Jesus Love equally, even when I don’t agree.

pa.tience : noun – the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble or suffering with out getting angry or upset.

stead.fast : adjective – resolutely or dutifully firm and unwavering

suf.fer.ing : noun – the state of undergoing pain, distress, or hardship

The point is to remember God is still working on us all, so stay humble, stay faithful, stay in the fight for faith because the furthering of the kingdom is on the line.  We are to allow Jesus to touch every aspect of our person our mind and our soul so nothing in our lives is exempt from the changing power of the Holy Spirit.  Including the Power of Prayer for those lost in the wilderness, brushing in and out of our days.

I am to be a woman of truth and commitment and I must follow through.  My yes is my Yes and my No my No.  If I can not stand by my own word and know what is right and wrong for me to do.  Then how can I stand by Gods word and discern what is good and true?  How could anyone take my faith or the bible seriously if I’m so inconstant?  Who would have hope in Christ with wishy- washy Christians?

So be steadfast, as you commit yourself as ambassadors of Christ, so the Lords Love will be known.  Do not lose focus, do not lose hope, do not lose sight of eternity…

This is the message of James….

James & the Path to all Joy and Flourishing, when we go with Gods Flow

James 5:1-6

Come now, you rich, weep and howl for your miseries which are coming upon you. Your riches have rotted and your garments have become moth-eaten. Your gold and your silver have rusted; and their rust will be a witness against you and will consume your flesh like fire. It is in the last days that you have stored up your treasure! Behold, the pay of the laborers who mowed your fields, and which has been withheld by you, cries out against you; and the outcry of those who did the harvesting has reached the ears of the Lord of Sabbath. You have lived luxuriously on the earth and led a life of wanton pleasure; you have fattened your hearts in a day of slaughter. You have condemned and put to death the righteous man; he does not resist you.

Its a warning, in the end your sin will be the only thing counted, not your earthly treasure.  A warning against a self-centered way of living, a warning to not resist righteousness.

We see a repeat of Jesus teaching from Luke 6:24-31

24 “But woe to you who are rich,
    for you have already received your comfort.
25 Woe to you who are well fed now,
    for you will go hungry.
Woe to you who laugh now,
    for you will mourn and weep.
26 Woe to you when everyone speaks well of you,
    for that is how their ancestors treated the false prophets.

27 “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29 If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. 30 Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. 31 Do to others as you would have them do to you.

But don’t freak out if you got a little money in the bank.  Money is like fire, its good and keeps you warm but if you are silly with it, you will get burned.  Money is also a good limpness test of where your heart is.  What are you spending your money on?  Think about it…  Our desire for money and what it buys reveals more about ourselves then both our words and our actions.

I hear this great quote and Ill share it with you because it calls to light the false teaching of the world, that money solves everything.

“Earthy goods deceive the human heart into believing that they give it security and freedom from worry.  But in truth, they are what causes anxiety.  Dietrich Bonhoffer”

Bonhoeffer knew that when you get extra cash you worry about what to do with it.  “Should I put in on debt or save it?  What is best RRSP RESP Tax Free saving account?  Maybe we should purchase that thing we keep “not affording”  we will never get new couches with the budget we have, may be this is our only chance…  Fixed mortgage or open?  Bank or Credit Union?  Think of all the the fights you have with your spouse around money?  Think about all the stereo types you unintentionally place in your children minds about money, just to have an excuse as why you can’t get them this or that, but you don’t want to say no to them.  “Thats what rich people buy”  “We can’t afford that because mommy choose to stay home with you”  “Study hard so you can get a good education some day, and then you can buy whatever you like”  None of this is helpful…  Money is not the cure to our worry.

And stuff create anxiety too, you buy a new couch and suddenly your stressed out every time the kids look at it.  You buy a new truck and you lose your mind with it gets dinged by the door beside you in Walmart.  Now Im not saying just have crappy stuff so you don’t need to teach your kids respect others property.  Im saying that being a good stewart of, and placing your value and hope in, is 2 different thing.  And we have to take inventory of our hearts when we find ourselves, counting our pennies instead of generously living with Gods children.

“You have condemned and put to death the righteous man; he does not resist you.”

Our self-centredness is in stark opposition to everything God has in mind for us.  The more we focused on our gain, our desires and our agenda.  The further we move away from Gods leading.  It is a narrow path that requires us to push others out of the way to get ahead.  In the moments we step on Gods, Children’s, toes we condemn ourselves.

So love generously, lavishly, sacrificially.  Because God first loved us and gave us everything for us, even His own Son, and we are to be generous with what He has lent to us here in this world.

That is the message of James…

James & the Path to all Joy and Flourishing as we Reject the Worlds Message.

James 4:1-12

 What causes wars, and what causes fightings among you? Is it not your passions that are at war in your members? You desire and do not have; so you kill. And you covet and cannot obtain; so you fight and wage war. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. You adulterous people!  Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Or do you suppose it is in vain that the scripture says, “He yearns jealously over the spirit which he has made to dwell in us”? But he gives more grace; therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you men of double mind. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to dejection. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord and He will exalt you.

“You adulterous people!”

I have always said with disgust, “I could never cheat on the Trucker!”  We all can not imagine how we could betray our spouse.  And yet, every priority I put on self and not on God is me cheating on my first love, my creator.  A lack of gratitude is a unfaithful love offering.

“He yearns jealously over the spirit which he has made to dwell in us”

God is jealous to fill and fulfill me.  So my lack of attention to His calling is a betrayal of His sacrifice.  His invitation into flourishing and joy.  My attention to the temporary, the looking to fill my empty parts with worldly satisfaction.  This is my lack of commitment to Gods end game of Joy in my life.

But Grace….  Be Humble….

“Resist the devil and he will flee from you.”

The devil is not long-suffering, if I resist he will eventually move on, for he has bigger fish to fry.

“Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to dejection.”

My heart must not only break for the sins of society but I must be broken first for my own transgressions.  No one blind to their own short comings can grow strong in wisdom, love, humility, and grace.  Sometimes we must burn down all that is overtaking our resolve so purification can take place and new life can bloom.  Our faith will only flourish when the weeds are removed. Then we will once again see the sun and be warmed by the light of life.

Again and again in James I see “Don’t speak evil against another…”  My self centric desire is my number 1 war criminal. I want, I long, I sin…… I praise God and yet curse His image…..   What is the cure to self-centred living?  Serving?  Thankfulness?  Giving all I have to the poor?  Still I seem to be able to make it all about me….

The world wants me to celebrate me, wile it creates the unattainable image of beauty, productivity and wealth that will perpetually draw me into discontentment.

Humility, Humility, Humility!  So I must hold fast to understanding that we have sinned and fall short of Glory.

I am equal to all, the wealthy, the poor, the pretty, the disfigured.  The smart, the slow, the clean and sober and the down and out user.

I am equal not above the foolish, the prideful, the vain, the boastful, the criminal, the murder, the thief, the prostitute. We are all of equal value in Gods eyes, an equal recipients in the blessing and the curse of the cross.  I am no better then any man or woman.

I am equal, I am no less important then the men who lead the church, the fit runners, the pretty blonds, the successful workers, the educated, the wealthy, the privileged, the ones who cover their heads and are soft spoken.  I am equal to the business woman and I am equal to the mom of 10.  God will love us all the same, and use who He choses, for His plan and not our glory.

I am not better or worse in Gods eyes then any of His beloved children.

Embrace Humility Every Day in Every Way.  That is how we die to self.  That is how we defeat the message the world is telling us.  There is no Classes, no Clicks, no Pyramid that God dosen’t see as a level playing field.

When I understand that God is the point and I am not, and neither are you.  That is when I can live out the Gospel and find resting in the equality of the cross.

We are meant for another World so our standing here is irreverent in regards to our salvation and your self-image, your conduct and your love offering, should reflect that.

This is the message of James…

 

James & the Path to all Joy and Flourishing, when we Realize we are not the Point

James 4:13-17

13 Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit.” 14 Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. 15 Instead, you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that.” 16 But as it is, you boast in your arrogance; all such boasting is evil. 17 Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin.

“But as it is, you boast in your arrogance;”

Arrogance:        an attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions.

I have been super arrogant with my assumptions about others choices, we all are.  It come from many places in the dark corners of my heart.  Pride, comparison and jealousy… Sigh….

Seeing the manifestation of sin in my own life is both humbling and devastating.  In these moments of raw reality in my own soul, I am also starkly aware of Gods mercy and love toward me, regardless of my flaws and insecurities.

Because in the end it is not about me….  Ya Ill say it again ITS NOT ABOUT ME,  or you.  Because “MY” plans are insignificant and “GODS” plans are the whole point.  So I need to be thinking on, praying over, and anxiously awaiting, Gods plans, not mine.

And I know the type A planner in you just freaked out a bit but take a breath.  This is God releasing us from so much pressure and rejection.  When His plans are the agenda,  when He is the most glorified.  It releases us to to not be offended when everyone else dose not realize that we “should be” the point.

When I think my plans are first priority, but everyone else has their plans as the top of the list, that only mixes up a recipe for strife and disappointment.  Too many cooks spoil the broth and it is true.  Because we are all adding to the same pot in the end if we are working as one body.  My chicken soup might be your minestrone, and without prayer from the communal body, the Church, we all might be missing the fact that Christ was making mushroom soup all along.

And that is not to say we aren’t to plan.  That we can’t move ahead in life and ministry without a committee meeting.  We all know that we are to be good stewards of our finances and families and bodies and such.  We are all to be daily taking part in the great commission.  But be ready for change.  Be ready to make Gods agenda your number one and then tailor your life here to work with in that vision.

When we are living holistically with Christ, He will to touch every aspect of our existence.  What are all the labels we place on ourselves , mom, teacher, cook, minister leader, farmer, employee, friend, wife…  Are they honouring Gods plans?  Then hang onto them. But if it is earthly temptation,  if you are placing your identity in anything other then Christ, let it go.

This spring I sold some horses.  It was hard.  But not because I was emotionally attached to these particular horses.  Actually I was happy to get rid of theses few.  They were bossy in the herd and hard to catch.  It was just more feet to trim and more coats to shed out.  More feed to buy and more pasture to be managed.  It was work and money I was spending on horses I hadn’t rode in years.

But it met me in a prideful place, where I was basing my identity in “Being a Horsewoman”.  I wasn’t ready to let go of that part of myself for many years and its shameful, all the time we wasted and money we burned just to prop up my assessment of myself.

But the time had come and they needed to go.  I didn’t want to do it alone.  But the Lord called me out into my wilderness once again, because deciding in  my heart wasn’t anouf.  I had to obey with my feet.  The trucker got called out to drive and I was dropping the kids off with Grandma and headed down the hwy. with the trailer in tow.

And despite my tears of anxiety the night before. The anxiety to have to face this taring away, this revealing of what lay beneath the layer of Horsewoman to what the Lord was working out underneath that facade.  It was a pleasant drive.  It was a freeing realize as I opened the back gate into the ally, as I watched the ponies get marked and prepared for sale.  I was free,  I was home, there in the dusty stock yard.  Because I had let go of the label I had clung to all these years, and I was still whole.  I was still loved, and I was drawn onto the solid ground of Christ and not in the things of this world.

Stand in Christs calling, not in the plans of this world.  That is the space you will feel most free.

This is the message of James…